Wendel and Corey's Discourse
They were eating dirty water dogs and sipping Diet Cokes as the combined condiments of mustard and New York style tomato-sauce-onions oozed out of their frankfurter buns onto their yellowing white shirts and cheap, loud ties. Both had naturally gravitated toward each other six months ago at a job fair and became mutual missionaries of misery in the hunt for employment. All the extensions of unemployment benefits had run out for these two.
“So you go to church and believe all that stuff?” Wendell asked as they sat on their usual park bench after attending yet another dead end job fair in Manhattan. Cory immediately responded while chomping on a mouthful of food, “I don’t go to church religiously, (both unaware of the unintended pun), but I do believe in God.”
Corey let out a tremendous belch that caught the attention of a nanny and her charge on the next bench. They both noticed the nanny staring at them in disgust. “Don’t worry, she just used way too much vinegar in her daily douche,” Wendell said, as he gave her the nonverbal middle fingered message, to indulge in self-copulation.
Corey went on to explain that Jesus forgives all those who have sinned, who are sorry. He then asked if Wendell had a napkin to wipe his mouth so he could make the sign of the cross.
“Wassamatter with your sleeve?” Wendell was quick to retort.
Corey wiped his mouth with the backhand side of his threadbare corduroy sports jacket and smiled a smile of knowing authority. “That carpenter is not building you no Stairway to Heaven, even though your Momma is Jewish!”
Wendell took a long sip of Diet Coke through the multicolored striped plastic straw as he stared out at the Statue of Liberty formulating a response to his mutually unemployed comrade in arms.
The philosophical discourse of two losers looking for work so they can pay their bills and go back to paying minimal taxes in the new economy, continued.
“Answer only…yes or no,” Wendell said as he turned and pointed his mustard stained finger at Corey’s face.
“Hitler is in the bunker with Ava Braun in 1945 as the war is ending. The Russians are breaking in, Hitler turns to Ava and says, ‘Ava, I screwed up big time, I’m sorry for all the destruction I caused that led the world to war and millions of people dead!’ Hitler then says, ‘Lord Jesus forgive me for my sins,’ with all the gusto of one of his Nazi rally speeches and he really means it. The Russians break the door down and kill Der Fürher and Eva."
Yes, or no, does Hitler go to Heaven?” Wendell’s index finger flies in the air as he tauntingly delivered the question to Corey.
Corey licked the remaining condiments off his fingers. And with defiance said, “Fuck you and the History Channel!”
Published 09/13/15 www.flashfictionmagazine.com